also: i've decided that the purpose of my writing will be to capture extremely subtle emotions

or more like emotional tics, actually. it's weird because every so often - and usually on the bus, not sure why that is - i get these feelings that are sort of half-feelings, like the water is moving up the graduated cylinder with the aid of capillary action (as my friend RMD said recently in the most triumphant (and deservedly so) way, "meniscus!") but sort of lingering between one notch and another. and i have no words to describe these interstitial feelings - they're like the place between sleep and waking, when consciousness fades away and simultaneously looms large like a squishy, rapidly-deflating balloon - and i really want to describe them. and not just feelings in themselves, but interactions between people that are charged with little stings and bolts and something that i can only call "zolts" - like small, neutral charges, or those sparks that come out when people weld things. they're harmless and temporary but sort of striking, even more so for their fleetingness. anyhow, moments of truth? yahweh trying to tell us something? or just little things that rise and then slip down, not too important, benign cysts of information floating in our jawlines? either way, we're clearly not listening. so i want to capture some of those things using the infra-photography of writing, which will allow us to say "ah!" and suddenly gain a sharper focus. which may as well be the point here, anyway...okay, writing in a somnambulist state is not getting me anywhere. le chambre!